Sexier at 50: Lingerie, Love, and a Credit Score that Rocks

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It was unavoidable. I am fifty years old. However, I am 50+ years old. FIFTY people, 50, half a century, five decades. They say black doesn’t crack. I agree I’m sexier at 50. Unfortunately, I’ve outlived good music, using the telephone just to “call” someone & we used to call moderate Republicans. Fifty years old— I look in the mirror and see the same girl who was afraid of jello. I am the New SEXY because I am happy with me. And this is my rewind of what’d I’d tell my younger self if I could.

1. What I’d Tell My Younger Self
2. Travel More
3. Be Money Smart
4. High Waisted Jeans, High Heels, and the Economy
5. Defying Wrinkles
6. Rewind– Why 50 is Sexy
7. Fifty is Sexy When You Laugh at Yourself

Rewind– What I’d Tell My Younger Self
Fifty is Sexy as Hell

Fifty years is both a short time and a long time at the same time. However, I feel sexier than ever. Looking in the mirror, and I don’t see an old lady. I still see the young girl who is afraid of jello because it’s freaking unnatural. I am still the girl who still locks the bathroom door when I take a shower because of the movie Psycho. By the way, I watched it recently, and it isn’t remotely scary. Of course, I’ve aged on the inside, but ageless beauty is mostly on the inside. I am still the girl who prefers popsicles, cotton candy, ramen noodles, and a warm pb&j sandwich to just about everything else.

My favorite movie hasn’t changed since I was 13. It’s still the 1960 classic Spartacus with Kirk Douglas, Sir Laurence Olivier, and Tony Curtis. I love that it’s been colorized recently. Oh, wait, I am old. And like a child, I can recite most of the 3-hour movie by heart. I am Spartacus!!

And I don’t do Curves; I go to a real gym. I don’t wear elastic jeans or go to Bingo. Wait– my daughter and my mother both play Bingo. And when I watch Jeopardy, I make sure to turn the channel before Wheel of Fortune comes on. When I turn 70, I’ll let you know if that’s sexy too.

I’m sexier at 50.

Panties, Men and My Credit

I’ve known success and failure. I’ve run three half marathons in my 40’s and 50’s. I can particularly remember when I thought 50 was old. However, I know now that’s it’s not. Not because I’m fifty, but because I feel I am living my best life right now. They say that with age comes wisdom. Sure it does, sometimes. And other times, it just comes with more maturity. That’s me in a nutshell.

Travel

I hope you travel. Before I knew better, I spent more money on things. And as a result, I don’t have a lot of great memories from that period. Furthermore, I don’t even have t things I bought either. I spent most of that time chasing things– boys, money, my self-identity. And more times than not, I lost interest in all of it quickly. But Travel and experiences last for a long time. They enrich your life by broadening how you think about just about everything.

Money

Make sure you never lose your independence. It’s a bitch getting it back. Keep your job, your friends, your values, and your interests. And spend your money according to all the above. Make sure you don’t live above your means. Don’t try to keep up with other people. What’s meant for them is not intended for you.

High Waisted Jeans, high heels and the Economy

I LOVE high waisted underwear and jeans. They are just more comfortable. And frankly, tiny panties that barely cover your booty are like 5″ inch heels. When you’re married–unnecessary, and THAT ladies is my hubby’s philosophy on ladies heel heights. I know mine doesn’t. And actually, statistics say, heels rise and lower with the economy. Think about it.

I get angry when I’m online, and I have to fill out my age from a drop-down menu, and it seems like I’m scrolling for days to get to 1966. I hate that. Why does it start with 2015 anyway?  That seems pretty stupid and makes me think some 20-something is laughing at my expense.

And could the freaking cashier at the liquor store card me for GP now and then, please? Nothing screams “old lady here” like carding the eight people in front of you. Then getting the kind, “Hey, I don’t need your ID” look.

Would I do anything differently?

Not sure that I would.

Am I Supposed to have Wrinkles?

Sexier Now than Ever

Surprisingly, I get asked all the time why I don’t have wrinkles. Am I supposed to? Because living my best life doesn’t include them— yet!! But, I suspect it’s a combination of good genes and a good life. The good life slows the aging process. However, there has been a mixture of good and bad times, getting to the place I am right now. I’ve known sadness, heartbreak, loss, and sustained love. I have two children that are beautiful, healthy, talented. And they are smart, funny and genuinely good people like their mom and dad.

And guess what? When I do get wrinkles, I’ll still be sexier at 50. Sexy doesn’t let wrinkles get you down. Because sexy, in this case, relates to how you feel and not how you look. Incidentally, how you feel on the inside does affect how you look on the outside.

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I am looking Back (for just a few minutes).

Would I tell my 20 self… 30 self… 40 self to do anything different to get to my 50’s? Sure, I would, but it might just surprise you what I’d tell my younger self.

1. Always speak up— speak your mind, but mean what you say. Don’t say things you don’t expect and be wary of the word NEVER.
2. On that note, remember you can say anything. How it’s received is something completely separate.
3. Your body is an empty shell without your soul. Forget what the scales tell you don’t buy one of those demon devices.
4. Use your full-length mirror for affirmation and not degradation. Don’t buy into what Hollywood says is Beautiful. You are Beautiful.
5. You wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you. If you have to tug on that short skirt– don’t put it on in the first place. But if you– work it Strange!!
6. Good looks fade when a guy can’t stimulate your mind BEFORE he gets into your pants.
7. Marry a younger man–you’ll thank me later. One that can fix shit is a bonus!!
8. Things are just that–things. They will never replace love, happiness, or friendship.
9. Love Hard and have lots of GOOD SEX.
10. However, there is GREAT value in your WORD and your CREDIT… protect both of them because they may be the only things you can rely on one day.
11. Speaking of friendship, people often tell you who they are. So make sure you’re listening.
12. New cars are for suckers. Their value drops the moment you drive off the lot. And for heaven’s sake, don’t make improvements (rims) until you own it.
13. Don’t select a degree for the potential salary. I’m not saying you should major in Philosophy or Art History, be wise and choose one that you have passion for, and the money will most likely follow.
14. Compare apples to apples, oranges to oranges but never marriages, appearances, or people.

Laugh a Lot– Mostly at Yourself.

1. Go ahead and dust, but you won’t get rid of it. Free yourself of clutter. Dusting every day is overrated.
2. Don’t gossip; it makes you look tiny, and it always gets out.
3. Keep it dry, wear cotton panties. Trust me, just do it.
4. You can try, but you’ll never defeat the grays unless you plan to spend a lot of your time under a plastic cap. Fifty is sexy with gray hair too.
5. Regrets are a waste of energy. Make every decision based on facts, research, and good judgment. Know that you will be wrong–often, but if we could tell the future, we’d all be rich bitches.
6. Don’t dwell on said mistakes. Make a plan to correct them, put it in motion, follow through– but don’t let worry become part of your life– it ages you prematurely.
7. Moderation is key to anything they say is bad for you– you know the GOOD STUFF!!
8. If you’re going to do it– go all the way in!! Don’t half-ass, you’ll get half the results, half the satisfaction, and all the criticism.

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