Tips for Traveling with your Soldier for Fun

I recently read an article about the benefits of couples traveling together. It listed 18 ways that travel could enhance your relationship. And I thought, what a load of BS. It was so sweet and sappily romantic, but when is traveling with the person, you love really like that? Let’s be clear, and I’m not talking about moves or PCS, where you contemplate divorce. I’m referring only to traveling with your soldier for leisure where you only contemplate leaving your man at home.

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IMG_20160926_103548-1024x809 Tips for Traveling with your Soldier for Fun
Steven and I on Signature Cruises deck after returning from our 3day/ 2night cruise on Halong Bay.

Tips for Traveling with your Soldier for Fun

Compromise, Communication, and Consideration

I do enjoy most of the trips I’ve taken with my husband. I’ve traveled all over the world with him as a couple or trailing spouse. I’ve also gone to the grocery store and out to dinner with him. And I know this sounds awful, but there have been times when I look into those big beautiful brown eyes and wonder if I’d have had more fun alone, with my kids or my girlfriends. Not always, but it does happen. Often enough to warrant me writing this post. It needs to be said that if I think I might have more fun with my kids, I consider staying at home too.

You have to compromise when you travel with someone else. I feel terrible because he is a great travel companion. We have different travel styles. He’s more sensible, practical, and partial to itineraries and timetables. I’m not any of those things, which means we are going to butt heads– eventually.

Traveling with your soldier is a lot of things, and they aren’t always fun. It can suck too. So it’s important to communicate your expectations so you both can enjoy your trip.

Money Matters

It’s all the Benjamins

Most hotels, cruises, and guided tours are based on double occupancy. It makes sense that the two of you travel together. But it might not be fun if you both disagree on the budget. And especially if you don’t always confess exactly how much you spent in the first place. When you’re alone, you consider purchasing something. You look at the price and make a decision. When I’m traveling with your soldier, he looks at the price and recalculates the entire trip based on this one purchase.

You can’t always fix this. But you should always discuss money expectations long before you leave the house.

Spontaneity vs. Itineraries

Working it Out

Spontaneous is a dirty word and is just not going to happen too often with my hubby. He wants to know the last ten years of safety reports for any boat we get on. He needs an up-to-the-minute weather forecast, and he would prefer an itinerary with prints out if there is no Internet access.

I’m not crazy, I do (do, haha) research, but I prefer to make a list instead of an itinerary. Just one example… I let him planned a trip a few years ago. That morning he woke me up at dawn saying we had an 8 am spa appointment, followed by a 12:30 lunch at a vineyard. Dinner was promptly at 7 pm. This is not my idea of fun, but I went with it.

However, the massages were nice, if not way too early in the morning. We drove an hour to catch a ferry over to the vineyard that unfortunately it broke down. He was livid. He didn’t have anything else planned until dinner. I remembered passing a few places that sold wine and advertised tastings. So we doubled back and ended up having a good time. That was the last time I’ve traveled with my man asked him to plan solo.

Avoid Miscommunication

Communication is Key

When I travel, I don’t want to talk about bills. I don’t want to talk about the kids, my job, or my lack of one. Your girlfriends know this, so why doesn’t your partner? We’re at home more than we travel. So there’s plenty of time then to map out our financial security unless you’re talking about how we can afford to move to where we’re at right now. It’s not a conversation I am eagerly willing to partake in on vacation. It’s time to chill. Sure we can talk about our future– future travel.


Traveling can occur in some very close quarters and under some less than desirable circumstances. There have been a few instances when you’re lucky if you can change your underwear, let alone take a shower or brush your teeth. If I’m gonna smell funk, it might as well be the funk I’ve smelled for the last 20 years.

Travel Memories

Traveling with someone special is definitely a memory builder. These experiences can be both good and bad. Hopefully, if you’re like us, you can look back on the latter and share a laugh or 17. And then look forward to the next time we travel together. Travel, like marriage, isn’t perfect. And like marriage, the best parts of travel are in the little things that make it memorable. It’s fun to remember when times are rough. It’s important not to blow things out of proportion. Remember, this is supposed to be fun.

Traveling-with-your-husband-683x1024 Tips for Traveling with your Soldier for Fun


  1. Mommy Sigrid

    Hahahaha I laughed because I remember that last year was the first time that we traveled abroad as a family. Sure we do it in our home country. But it’s different when it’s abroad and you have young kids in tow. The system, especially of transportation, is very different. My husband and I lost our cool with each other many times. Thankfully, we were able to salvage the remaining days of the trip and were able to enjoy. πŸ˜€

  2. Katherine G Beck

    This is awesome and there is a lot of truth to this. Travelling together is pretty much nonstop togetherness for days!! Sometimes more than a week. And not everyone is the same – like you said, spontaneity vs. itinerary…that was big problem on my first trip with my (now) husband. We did 12 days in Maui and we had very different ideas of what a vacation was…but, we had a great time and are married, so it all works in the end πŸ™‚

  3. Oana Durican

    I use to travel alone. I mean, in organized groups, but not with my husband. Fortunately, he doesn’t like travelling, and since we do not share the same hobbies, it seems natural to me to travel without him. Better like this than to get bored by his complainings.

  4. LiveLoveAndAdventure

    Although it’s great to travel with your spouse or significant other, sometimes it’s really good to go alone. I never believed that until about 3 years ago when I took my first “alone” vacation ever. It was such an amazing experience to not have to worry about anyone but myself! Not sure I’d do it often, but once in awhile it seems necessary!

    1. duffelbagspouse

      I agree. I really enjoyed all three of my solo travel experiences. I think its important to try several different travel experiences.

  5. Erica Poyaua


  6. Rosey

    That’s funny about the drink. My ex liked to go to bars on trip and I rarely drink. I’d go along, but it was never my idea of fun while we were on a trip.

  7. Annie Cho

    Such a refreshing and openly honest conversation about couples’ travel. It sure can be difficult if you’re very different from your partner, but like you said, it’s all about creating those memories. I still think it’s worth it!

  8. Casey

    I totally feel you, its not easy to travel with anyone stress free. The best way is to say what you have to say and get over it. Not worth to stress the small stuff

  9. Stephanie

    My ex and I often struggled to travel together. Especially because we earned very different incomes. I think, if you’re not already living together, being together 24/7 can often be quite confronting. You’ll quickly learn how you work as a team and how you can better your communication.

    1. duffelbagspouse

      Sometimes that’s the case. That’s why we try to iron out both our expectations towards the budget prior to leaving home.

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