Benefits Separate Vacations: 5 Ways Solo Travel Can Improve Your Relationships

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Many blogs focus on traveling as a couple—how to plan, compromise, and create the perfect trip together. But what about traveling without your partner? Few talk about the benefits of separate vacations and how rewarding they can be. Stepping away from shared habits—meals, decisions, routines—lets you experience a place on your own terms. It’s a chance to break from compromise, rediscover what excites you, and reconnect with who you are outside the relationship.

Table of Contents

1. Encouraging Self-Reliance
2. Breaking Routine
3. Nurturing Friendships
4. Avoiding Over-Scheduling
5. Stop Ruining Your Vacation
6. Like it. Pin it.

This weekend, I’m heading to Chicago for the Travel and Leisure Show, where I’ll be moderating a panel discussion on solo travel. While I love traveling with my husband, I’ve learned that the benefits of separate vacations can be incredibly valuable. It’s not about needing space because something is wrong; it’s about personal growth, maintaining individuality, and bringing new energy back to the relationship. The benefits of separate vacations include the ability to explore personal interests, recharge individually, and return home with fresh perspectives. Rather than creating distance, they can strengthen a partnership by fostering independence, trust, and shared excitement when reconnecting.

Encouraging Self-Reliance

Navigating the Hilly Roads in the French Riviera

I don’t get to drive often on vacation—that’s Steven’s wheelhouse. But when I do, it’s always an adventure. I still remember my first road trip to the French Riviera. Well, not entirely solo—I had the kids with me. It was the first time I truly had to test my driving skills in a foreign country, and they gave me a tiny car that felt only a step above a lawn mower to tackle the steep, winding roads. One of the benefits of separate vacations is facing these kinds of challenges alone, which builds confidence and independence.

Everything was going fine until I reached the cliffside town of Eze. That’s where I got stuck, holding up a long line of frustrated drivers because every time I tried to put the car into first gear, it stalled out on me. A kind French man knocked on my window and asked if I needed help. Completely exasperated, I let him take over. Off he went, skillfully maneuvering the car up the hill while Malik and Kamren sat in the backseat, and I ran behind them, shaking my head and laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road in Malta

Fast forward several years, and I found myself in a similar situation—another solo trip, another rental car. But this time, I felt far more confident. The challenge? Driving a stick shift with the wheel on the other side of the car, in a country where they also drove on the opposite side of the road. I hesitated before pulling out of the rental car lot, unsure if I was truly ready for this. But I reminded myself that I had done difficult things before, so I drove around the parking lot a few times, adjusting to the reversed controls. Then I called Steven for a pep talk. His advice? “Just keep the dotted line on your side of the road, and you’ll be fine.”

Thirty minutes later, I was on the open road. That advice worked—when there was a dotted line. When there wasn’t, I may have grazed a few branches, but overall, I did just fine. I returned the car without a scratch and with a sense of accomplishment that stuck with me long after the trip ended.

That newfound self-reliance didn’t disappear when I got home. It carried over into my daily life and my relationship with Steven. I felt more confident, more capable, and that energy shifted something between us. One of the greatest benefits of taking separate vacations is being able to focus entirely on yourself—without the pressure of making sure your partner is enjoying the experience too.

Breaking Routine

Even in the happiest relationships, routines can become predictable. One of the benefits of separate vacations is the chance to break free from daily patterns and experience something completely different. Separate trips allow you to step outside familiar habits and rediscover your own interests. When I spent a week in Bali alone, I explored at my own pace, focusing entirely on myself.

One of the most memorable moments was wandering through the forested trails near Ubud. The quiet was unlike anything I’d experienced in a long time—just the rustle of leaves, the occasional chatter of monkeys, and the distant hum of a temple ceremony. I attended sunrise yoga sessions where the meditative rhythm of Balinese gamelan music made me feel completely at peace. Later, I strolled through bustling markets filled with the scent of spices and sizzling satay.

That week of solo exploration gave me a renewed sense of excitement for our shared life. The benefits of separate vacations became even clearer when I returned. By experiencing Bali on my own terms, I came back with stories to share and a refreshed outlook on myself and my relationship.

Nurturing Friendships

Spending time apart gives you a chance to reconnect with friends, something that often gets put on the back burner in a long-term relationship. One of the benefits of separate vacations is having the space to nurture friendships that might otherwise be overlooked. Last year, I went on a wine tour in Napa Valley with a group of girlfriends, and it was exactly what I needed.

We spent our days tasting amazing wines, soaking in the beautiful vineyard views, and just enjoying each other’s company. In the evenings, we gathered around a fire pit, swapping stories, laughing, and catching up on life without any distractions. It felt so good to be fully present in the moment, without worrying about schedules or responsibilities. When I got home, I felt lighter, happier, and more balanced. My time with friends didn’t take anything away from my marriage—it actually made it stronger. It even gave Steven and me the idea to plan our own vineyard trip together.

Taking time to nurture my friendships reminded me how important it is to have relationships outside of my marriage. The benefits of separate vacations became even clearer after that trip. When I invest in myself and spend time with people who uplift me, I come back to my relationship with more energy, patience, and appreciation. We’ve realized that taking separate trips lets us fully enjoy our time away, knowing we’re doing what makes us happy. That wine tour wasn’t just about fun—it was a reminder that taking care of myself and staying connected with friends helps me show up as a better partner in my marriage.

Stop Ruining Your Vacation

One of the biggest challenges of traveling as a couple is making sure both partners are happy. While compromise is important, sometimes it leaves both people unhappy and unfulfilled. It becomes an impossible task of trying to be accommodating while secretly feeling miserable and wishing you were doing something else. Instead of fully enjoying the moment, you find yourself rushing through activities, knowing your partner isn’t having fun, or worse, sensing they’re just tolerating it for your sake.

We figured this out after trips to Chiang Mai, Luang Prabang, and Singapore. At first, we tried to do everything together, but we quickly realized it wasn’t working. I love wandering through temples, hiking nature trails, and finding a quiet spot for yoga. Steven, on the other hand, enjoys browsing for electronics, tasting local beers, and getting long massages. When we forced ourselves to stick to one itinerary, we both ended up going through the motions instead of truly enjoying the experience. I’d rush through temples, feeling guilty that Steven was bored, and he’d cut his shopping short because he knew I wasn’t interested. Neither of us got the trip we envisioned, and we came home feeling like we had just checked off a list instead of creating meaningful experiences.

A Different Approach to Travel

Now, we take a different approach. We’ll start the day with breakfast together, then go off and do our own thing for a few hours. In the evening, we meet up for dinner, excited to swap stories about our day. Giving each other space means we both get to fully enjoy the trip in a way that feels right for us, not just in a way that avoids disappointing the other person. Travel should be about experiencing something meaningful, not about rushing through or enduring activities just to keep the peace. Separating for part of the trip has made our vacations more fulfilling, and when we come back together, we appreciate both the time apart and the moments we share even more.

Focusing on Personal Growth

One of my favorite solo trips was my week-long trip to Salt Lake City for the Wanderful Summit. It was an inspiring experience to surround myself with like-minded women who love travel as much as I do. The best part? I could immerse myself in seminars, workshops, and networking events without feeling pressured to cut things short for dinner or spend time with Steven.

Wanderful offers a great way to travel without your partner, giving them peace of mind knowing you’re surrounded by trusted friends. The Wanderful Summit are an incredible way to focus on yourself and your personal goals, especially if you’ve been putting them on the back burner for a while. They permit you to pour energy into learning, growing, and connecting with others without guilt or distractions. That being said, a solo trip doesn’t mean you should completely forget about your partner. During that week, I checked in with Steven every day. A quick call or a text here and there goes a long way to show your partner that you’re thinking of them. It also reassures them that while you’re having a great time, you haven’t disappeared into a new, completely separate life. Sharing snippets of what I was learning or sending a quick photo from a conference session helped keep us connected without interrupting my focus.

Final Thoughts

By the end of the week, I returned home with a sense of accomplishment and many exciting things to share. The solo trip didn’t create distance between us—it strengthened our connection. It allowed me to grow personally while reminding me how much I appreciate the life we’ve built together.

The benefits of separate vacations extend beyond the trip itself. When we reunite, we bring back new experiences, fresh perspectives, and renewed energy. By allowing each other time to explore independently, we’ve found that our bond doesn’t weaken—it thrives. And when we come back together, we’re even more excited to plan our next adventure—whether together or apart.

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